ruralstar
Kevin McKidd Online staff
website McFic
Life is a Journey of the Mind. Anything can happen....Just wait
Posts: 2,233
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Post by ruralstar on Jun 14, 2011 5:55:14 GMT -5
Great start ladies. This is a very well written piece. Only a few mentions I want to make, that don't have to do with the way the chapter was written, but about the characters. Owen is a very private person, I could say the most private person in that hospital. So to simply blurt out to Callie that Cristina is pregnant seemed to me out of character. He may get along with Callie better that with the other doctors in that hospital, he may have shared the same apartment with her, but I simply don't see him just going and discussing such a private matter with her. It's the inner turmoil that makes Owen such an interesting character to me, Cristina is the one person he shares his feelings with. He completely trust her, he has shared with her his inner most fears, she has seen in him in most vulnerable state. No one else, but Cristina. I think this is one of the reasons he felt so hurt in the SF. I just don't see him sharing with Callie such a delicate and personal matter (at least the Owen they showed till now on the show). I do see him going to his mother and talking to her about this. And I liked that scene you wrote a lot. Also I think Owen seeing that mistreated child and thinking that Cristina might do the same was a bit out of place, since Cristina has already said that if she had the baby, she would love him/her. And even more because Owen already told Cristina the she would be a great mother. I think that Cristina has yet to realize that it is a human being growing inside of her, not just a simple "it" and to realize that Owen indeed made sacrifices in this marriage. Mocking Owen and sarcasm doesn't help Cristina right now. But I am glad that she is willing to fight for her marriage. I hope the separation won't be for too long. Again great job and I cannot wait for the next chapter. Stepping in to say thank you for all of the positive comments. I'm glad you're enjoying this first section. To Trinity specifically:
You make a valid point about Owen. Which is why he doesn't tell Callie everything. Seeing the abused child, not having slept, and being so overwrought over his marriage were factors working against his inherent need for privacy. As for his thoughts regarding Cris and the baby... Well I think we're trying to explore everything that might pass through our characters minds. When push comes to shove I don't think Owen would actually believe Cris was capable of abuse. Would it occurr to him? Possibly. In the same way it occurrs to him later that maybe Cris doesn't really love him. The thoughts are devastating.
As for Cristina... Objectifying a child is a good coping mechanism. Not a very palatable one to us as readers/viewers but understandable given Cris' situation.
As writers we all make choices that will stretch the characterization envelop in different directions. I appreciate your comments and I hope we as a writing staff can effectively show growth for Cristina and Owen. Which is something that has been sorely lacking on GA.
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Post by Leanne on Jun 14, 2011 6:02:36 GMT -5
Interesting point Trinity I personally find it a valid scene with the abused baby its not so much that Cris will do this but under the stress Owen is experiencing his mind is running away with him on the possibilities of what could happen.. we have all done that at some point and its possibly been in circumstances that is out of character for us or the person involved... we generally know it is but drama always seems to be were ones mind goes to in times like this...the easiest route
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Post by mchardcoreyang on Jun 14, 2011 7:18:42 GMT -5
The part for me that was the most difficult to write throughout my scenes was keeping Cristina with the thought in her mind that she does not want the baby. It was a point she tried to get across in the finale. When Cristina yelled at Owen "No." That was something I took seriously when trying to write this. If she was so adamant about going through with terminating without consulting him, she was not going to instantly change her mind the next day. Which is why when a rejected sleepless Cristina hears Zola crying..its the reminder. And she disassociates herself with it being a baby and makes it a "thing".
As Rural said our characters are at the point of complete emotional and physical exhaustion that their actions like Cristina walking down the road complaining about Owen, is just her way of letting it out. And Owen, beautifully written by Rural (thank you), and his scene with Callie to just blurt it out to her, to want an opinion and knowing Callie was in the same situation as him once, was definitely possible.
I don't know how many stupid things I say when my heart gets broke. I take all their faults and try to justify why I am right all the time. It's a grieving process. We go through levels of grief and I wanted to show that with Cristina.
We tried to give the next writers some things to use for the following episodes. Maybe one of them will connect Cristina to feel more about it being a person inside of her instead of just a catalyst to this problem they have.
Oh one more thing I wanted to add this frustration and exhaustion I mentioned earlier pretty much ties in with the theme of the song I choose for the episode. Cristina and Owen are "Rolling in the Deep" going through all these feelings since they both broke each other's hearts.
And yes thanks everyone for your great reviews!!
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Post by hopew on Jun 14, 2011 8:28:04 GMT -5
The part for me that was the most difficult to write throughout my scenes was keeping Cristina with the thought in her mind that she does not want the baby. It was a point she tried to get across in the finale. When Cristina yelled at Owen "No." That was something I took seriously when trying to write this. If she was so adamant about going through with terminating without consulting him, she was not going to instantly change her mind the next day. Which is why when a rejected sleepless Cristina hears Zola crying..its the reminder. And she disassociates herself with it being a baby and makes it a "thing". As Rural said our characters are at the point of complete emotional and physical exhaustion that their actions like Cristina walking down the road complaining about Owen, is just her way of letting it out. And Owen, beautifully written by Rural (thank you), and his scene with Callie to just blurt it out to her, to want an opinion and knowing Callie was in the same situation as him once, was definitely possible. I don't know how many stupid things I say when my heart gets broke. I take all their faults and try to justify why I am right all the time. It's a grieving process. We go through levels of grief and I wanted to show that with Cristina. We tried to give the next writers some things to use for the following episodes. Maybe one of them will connect Cristina to feel more about it being a person inside of her instead of just a catalyst to this problem they have. Oh one more thing I wanted to add this frustration and exhaustion I mentioned earlier pretty much ties in with the theme of the song I choose for the episode. Cristina and Owen are "Rolling in the Deep" going through all these feelings since they both broke each other's hearts. And yes thanks everyone for your great reviews!! Reading this explanation, I have to say that from my perspective, you and Rural were successful in accomplishing your goals. I agree with trinity that Owen is a very private person, and I was also a little troubled by his thought process when he saw the abused baby in the ER. But I accepted his reaching out to Callie, and his reaction to the abuse situation, for exactly the reasons you described. I think Owen is feeling that everything he assumed about his life, about his love for Cristina, about his understanding of who she is and about her feelings for him, is up-for-grabs. He is doubting everything right now. His love for Cristina and his unshakeable belief that she loves him - - despite her offering to trade him for Teddy, despite her handing him the wedding ring back - - have been the foundation upon which he built his life, upon which he based his recovery from the damage done by his experiences in Iraq. I think he is shaken to his core. And in that context, I found his thoughts and actions to be very believable. And I really, really appreciate that you have not simply had Cristina have a sudden "change of heart" concerning the pregnancy. If her desire NOT to have that child was not deeply felt and important, than her treatment of Owen was just capricious and cruel. I think it is important that Cristina really believed that she doesn't want a child and can't be a good mother when she made the decision to abort. Her refusal to discuss with Owen why she feels that way is what matters. I think you've left Cristina in exactly the right place for now - - not having changed her mind, but having come to the realization that she needs to tell her husband why she feels the way she does. I find a lot of the commentary on the general web about this to be more than a little overly simplistic. Some people say "she's entitled to just not want a child; it's her body and her decision." And ultimately, of course, that is true. She IS entitled to not want a child, and if she hadn't become pregnant she might never have had to confront her reasons for feeling that way. But she is pregnant; Owen's life is also implicated by the decisions she makes. Under these circumstances "I just don't want to" is not enough of a response, not in a relationship between mature adults. Her decision about what to do with this pregnancy will have consequences, and she and Owen each have to decide if one of the consequences, IF she terminates the pregnancy, will be the end of the marriage. I'm looking forward to seeing how you and the other writers deal with the discussion and the consequences in future episodes.
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Post by earth2eternity on Jun 14, 2011 9:42:56 GMT -5
Great first episode guys. I agree with hopew about Cristina not making a sudden decision or having a sudden change of heart about the pregnancy. Thank you, looking forward to the next episode, anxious to know what's gonna happen next
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Post by shli1117 on Jun 14, 2011 11:48:27 GMT -5
Wow, mchardcoreyang, the site on Shades of Grey is stunning. Although, is there a way that you can comment directly on there? Or did you make it intentionally so that no one can comment on the WordPress-based site? I was looking for the comment button and couldn't find it. Also, got lost trying to find this thread, too. Lol. (That's me and my sense of direction for you!)
Side note: Thanks, Leanne, for the announcement! Direct link! Woohoo!
The artwork is gorgeous and so clever, COforever! And that video! Awesome.
Back to the writing, ruralstar and mchardcoreyang, you two did a wonderful job. Just the opening with its detailed imagery and colorful prose was an instant hook into the world you two have started creating (and the rest of the Y-H's Anatomy authors will continue to mold). Just fabulous.
"Auntie Cristina just stole my car. Yes she did." Bwahahahaha.
I love how you introduced the new character of Gloria. What a firecracker! And, of course, Moses. Can't forget her dog. I thought Cristina's scene with them was perfect and we got to hear more of Cristina's thought process through their interactions. (Which was something I found missing in the season 7 finale.)
And I also love the way you developed Sheila. Her words of wisdom as she advises him in a situation she doesn't know all the details for. "A good marriage can survive almost anything." I desperately hope Cristina and Owen can have that good of marriage.
"She looked around at what was once their home. A place she loved coming home to, and felt devastated at the thought that it was now going to be just another overly decorated on call room with brick walls and a fire pole."
Great ending for the first chapter. It definitely gets you right there. You can feel the pain and angst in it. Yep, definitely a crack in my heart from it. But not fully broken because I've got faith that these two will make it through this.
As another side note, I find it so amazing how you can go from one starting point (season 7 finale) and people can take it different directions. Clearly, people are going to have their favorites. But I, for one, am glad to be on the ride instead of being the designer of the ride. So, with that, I thank you, writers, for this rollercoaster ride. And I can't wait to see what's coming up at the next turn. Bravo!
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Post by Leanne on Jun 14, 2011 12:20:52 GMT -5
prefer the link back to the forum to comment ... as its a forum initiative ... just makes it easier
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Post by trinity on Jun 14, 2011 12:43:32 GMT -5
The part for me that was the most difficult to write throughout my scenes was keeping Cristina with the thought in her mind that she does not want the baby. It was a point she tried to get across in the finale. When Cristina yelled at Owen "No." That was something I took seriously when trying to write this. If she was so adamant about going through with terminating without consulting him, she was not going to instantly change her mind the next day. Which is why when a rejected sleepless Cristina hears Zola crying..its the reminder. And she disassociates herself with it being a baby and makes it a "thing". As Rural said our characters are at the point of complete emotional and physical exhaustion that their actions like Cristina walking down the road complaining about Owen, is just her way of letting it out. And Owen, beautifully written by Rural (thank you), and his scene with Callie to just blurt it out to her, to want an opinion and knowing Callie was in the same situation as him once, was definitely possible. I don't know how many stupid things I say when my heart gets broke. I take all their faults and try to justify why I am right all the time. It's a grieving process. We go through levels of grief and I wanted to show that with Cristina. We tried to give the next writers some things to use for the following episodes. Maybe one of them will connect Cristina to feel more about it being a person inside of her instead of just a catalyst to this problem they have. Oh one more thing I wanted to add this frustration and exhaustion I mentioned earlier pretty much ties in with the theme of the song I choose for the episode. Cristina and Owen are "Rolling in the Deep" going through all these feelings since they both broke each other's hearts. And yes thanks everyone for your great reviews!! Thanks for the insight in your writing, it definitely helps have a better understanding of the chapter. If I can make suggestion, you should have this kind of insight for each episode. It will help the reader have a better understanding of why you wrote certain aspects the way you did. I think Cristina is particularly difficult to write, especially because of the way GA writers wrote her in a corner in the SF (just because SR needed her "good drama"). So to go from that point and trying to get her establish again a connection with Owen was not easy to write. So I really appreciate that, it felt real and true. (Though mocking Owen at the beginning and not being able to recognize that Owen did make sacrifices in this marriage was rough and tough to read. Definitely not growth in my eyes. But yes somehow understandable.) And I agree with Hope that Cristina's refusal to discuss with Owen why she feels the why she does is what matter, and that was actually the point. Because Owen wasn't upset because Cristina didn't want to keep the baby, he was upset and hurt because his opinion didn't matter to her. Looking forward to see where the next chapter goes.
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Post by mchardcoreyang on Jun 14, 2011 13:34:24 GMT -5
Im working on kinks to the site i took a day off and I think I will just link back to go to this thread .
Don't know why comments arent working but its kind of a good thing too too much spam sometimes. So Definately a link back to this thread will work.
Ill work on that tomorrow.
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Post by shli1117 on Jun 14, 2011 14:21:37 GMT -5
prefer the link back to the forum to comment ... as its a forum initiative ... just makes it easier Perfect. That would be lovely. Also. I wouldn't have to make a separate account. Thanks, Leanne and mchardcoreyang!
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Post by ella1967 on Jun 15, 2011 9:48:13 GMT -5
One thought - perhaps what you've started here is a bit of a writer's blog for this story too. And if so, if you're willing to continue to share your process in writing too I would really appreciate it. Trinity brought up some points that I wondered about as I read too. I'm not in a great headspace these days due to some unfortunate family situations so I was greatly pleased to see her writing what I couldn't put my finger on enough to post. And I've found it illuminating to read why you made some of the choices you did and what you hope to create in this story. Really, what I see here are two people who have built their emotional lives around each other and are now facing the first big challenge to whether that bond can survive. I think they both likely want it to but now comes the decision about how to rebuild and for each of them it's happening somewhat in a vacuum because normally they would go to each other and right now, they can't. They each need space to think things through and they haven't taken a great deal of time to do that in their relationship. And Rural's right when she talks about not seeing the growth we would like to see for these characters on the show and that's simply because there wouldn't be much drama in healthy characters growing and talking things through, now would there? But that's where fanfic writers such as yourselves come in. And as a writer myself, it's how I process things, I would find it very exciting if you would share your thoughts on your chapters going forward. But I will also completely understand if you don't have the time to do so as the chapters you write are lovely and gift enough to us in this long summer hiatus.
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Post by mchardcoreyang on Jun 15, 2011 13:34:47 GMT -5
I could set that up and have each writer post on the site. ill have to see how I can structure that and it would be of course up to each writer if they want to do something like that.
I would be up for it. I'll bring it up in our next meeting.
And seriously I was a bit nervous on how the episode was going to be received but thanks everyone for all the great comments.
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Post by ella1967 on Jun 15, 2011 13:57:14 GMT -5
I could set that up and have each writer post on the site. ill have to see how I can structure that and it would be of course up to each writer if they want to do something like that. I would be up for it. I'll bring it up in our next meeting. And seriously I was a bit nervous on how the episode was going to be received but thanks everyone for all the great comments. Your consideration is much appreciated. And maybe I'm the only writerly dork around here who would greedily devour your process as much as the chapters themselves. Also, maybe it's enough to get your answers to our questions here rather than having to set up something on another site. Thoughts from the crowd? Basically I just want to say a great big thank you for all the work you've undertaken to write this summer and help us all with our withdrawal symptoms. If a blog would be just plain too much effort or detract from your abilities to provide us with delicious prose, then by all means concentrate on delicious prose since we have no idea what Shonda, et. al. will offer up come the fall. (Though my hopes remain high that this storyline on the show isn't about how Owen and Cristina are just too different to be together but, rather, how they build on the teamwork we've seen them stepping into in S.7 but...while I think I'm not alone in that hope I will take further discussion of it to the appropriate thread.)
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ruralstar
Kevin McKidd Online staff
website McFic
Life is a Journey of the Mind. Anything can happen....Just wait
Posts: 2,233
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Post by ruralstar on Jun 15, 2011 14:12:31 GMT -5
Writing is a very personal process for me. I am happy to participate in a limited fashion in discussions on this thread because I think feedback is important. I say limited because I don't want to influence the discussion in the direction I want it go but rather read your ideas and hopefully incorporate some of them into the overall arc we are developing. That said, I won't be posting a 'writer's blog' for my individual segment. I prefer to leave my work open to your interpretation, just as any author of short stories or novels might. My vision is subjective to my life experience and therefore inherently different from all of yours. I hope I can develop a segment of this project that is sufficiently self explanatory while simultaneously open enough for everyone to find some satisfaction.
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Post by ella1967 on Jun 15, 2011 14:25:53 GMT -5
Writing is a very personal process for me. I am happy to participate in a limited fashion in discussions on this thread because I think feedback is important. I say limited because I don't want to influence the discussion in the direction I want it go but rather read your ideas and hopefully incorporate some of them into the overall arc we are developing. That said, I won't be posting a 'writer's blog' for my individual segment. I prefer to leave my work open to your interpretation, just as any author of short stories or novels might. My vision is subjective to my life experience and therefore inherently different from all of yours. I hope I can develop a segment of this project that is sufficiently self explanatory while simultaneously open enough for everyone to find some satisfaction. Fair enough and thanks for the clarification! Your process is your process and I thoroughly respect that. I have always enjoyed reading your comments here Rural and respect what you need to do with your writing. Thanks again for contributing to this lovely story and sharing your muse with us.
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Post by Leanne on Jun 21, 2011 15:45:09 GMT -5
So almost the second Episode anyone have any ideas which way the storyline is going to go
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Post by Leanne on Jun 25, 2011 2:16:07 GMT -5
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Post by katleehow on Jun 25, 2011 10:47:22 GMT -5
Love the promo vidlet! Do I dare hope for some angsty hot C/O kissing ... Looks to be another heartbreaking chapter but I guess it is always the darkest before the dawn. Happy to see perhaps Owen returns home to talk to Cristina. Can't wait to read what happens next for C/O in princessleah's chapter!!! mchardcoreyang~the fanfic site is gorgeous! Thanks again ladies for doing this wonderful project to help with the hiatus!
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Post by Leanne on Jun 25, 2011 15:53:20 GMT -5
mmmm looks like a lot of discussion going on .. some heated
But An exasperated Owen so doesn't look like he is getting anywhere in the negotiations ....
however nice feisty kiss there ...shows a bit of promise
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Post by justine on Jun 25, 2011 16:47:58 GMT -5
Love the promo vidlet! Do I dare hope for some angsty hot C/O kissing ... Looks to be another heartbreaking chapter but I guess it is always the darkest before the dawn. Happy to see perhaps Owen returns home to talk to Cristina. Can't wait to read what happens next for C/O in princessleah's chapter!!! mchardcoreyang~the fanfic site is gorgeous! Thanks again ladies for doing this wonderful project to help with the hiatus! Sounds like that we all are aware that Shonda and her writers team are going to make us go through a lot of frustration for the season 8 ! Whatever, don't want another suck season as the sixth... Thank you for doing this we do really enjoy! But, please dear hiatus writers, do not make it long last as we all already foresee it for the season to come in the show.
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